Katya, just came to my apartment. She handed me a notebook and asked me if I could read it. It was a list of Ukrainian words next to English words, and a message next to that.
Basically, it said that she wants to apologize for her all the things she did last year. She said she would like to switch plots with me - I would take her full plot and she would take my half plot.
Last year, Katya took a garden plot even though her husband told her not to and said he wouldn't help her. She told me she could get him to do whatever she wants. He didn't help her. There was a bit of martyr play with her husband (a well crafted, pointy tool of hers). Her garden went to crap. As part of the martyr play, she let weeds come in and stopped watering it for a while. She was trying to embarrass him into helping. When he didn't bite, she was left to her own devices, which wasn't much since she doesn't walk well and isn't very strong.She couldn't catch up on the stuff she'd abandoned so she barely got any vegetables from it.
We're supposed to clean out our garden plots in the fall - remove fencing, pull up stakes, and clear out the soil so it can be tilled in the spring. Katya removed the fence, but not much else. There are still stakes there, weeds, and maybe planks or wood she walked on. It looks a mess.
Last year when she was setting up, she said she didn't have all of the things she needed for her plot and some of her things had been stolen. She needed fence. I told her my dad was bringing me some gear. I told her I would share what I didn't need, especially chicken wire. My dad didn't bring any chicken wire, so I bought some mesh fencing for me and gave some to Katya to use, knowing I'd get it back. It was only $20 and I was feeling flush.
I'm the only native English speaker in the garden. I am friendly with the Chinese and I am friendly with the Ukrainian, but there isn't much communication between them. Only the Chinese who learned Russian when they were in Communist schools can speak to the Ukrainians, but it's rare. I know which Chinese speak Russian, but most haven't revealed themselves to the Ukrainians. I'm sure it's a mixture of war memories, Communism, and racism.
Last year, Zhenfang, the woman I was helping to prep for her citzenship, was storming around the garden RAVING. She was yelling in Chinese at Anatoli, my plot neighbor to the north. I found out she thought he'd taken her tomato cages from the garden shed we all share. Anatoli didn't have any cages in his plot, so I tried to calm her down and show her he hadn't done anything.
Shortly after, she blew up again. She found her tomato cages in Katya's plot. When she put them away in the fall, she'd tied strings on them so she knew which were hers. There they were, in Katya's plot. It was crazy. Her ranting and body language conveyed "what do I have to do, mark everything that's mine" and "I guess I can go around taking whatever I want." She was gesturing, consensus building with the other Chinese and started throwing things. I'd never seen her or any of the Chinese folk scream like that.
I went to Katya, she said the cages were hers. With Gao yelling in Chinese behind me (Gao speaks Russian, but wouldn't speak to Katya), I showed Katya the ties that Gao had put on them to show they belonged to her. Katya had dozens of tomato cages. A little martyr play came in. She guessed she would be a good neighbor and give them to Gao, but people were always stealing from her. She wanted me to ask Gao where she got the cage - Gao got them from her daughter who lives near. Katya made a fuss that anyone could have put those ties on there, but she didn't say she'd put them on herself. She gave up the stack of cages. I went back to Gao's plot with her, she used her English words and Chinese gestures and said "Jennifer, Russians BIG. They are BIG." "Bad? Do you mean they are bad?" "Yes! Bad! They are all bad!"
Eventually, Gao believed me, that her cages in Katya's plot was a mistake. Things were HOSTILE in the garden and apartment lobby. I asked them to shake hands and be done with it and forgive.
A couple of days later, Katya wanted to talk about what happened. She told me she did take the cages. She knew they weren't hers. She thought she'd get away with it, but didn't notice the strings. I was blown away. I wouldn't help her anymore.
Since she met me, Katya has told me I need to exercise, that I'm too fat, that I should have a man or I should live with my parents. This was repeated over and over and over. My responses went from polite and gentle to firm to, well, telling her off.
Katya's plot is next to a tree and she'd sit in the shade. When I came home from the Farmer's Market on Saturdays, she'd be waiting. She criticized all the plants I bought whether the quality was bad, she didn't think I needed that particular vegetable (not enough cucumbers, that's why I'm fat), I spent too much money or I drove too far to buy them. She would put plants in my soil that she thought I should have. If I brought any tools or gear to my plot - "How much is this? How much you pay?" Then she'd demand that I take it back to the store. Persistently demand it.
All of this was scolding, dominant commands. I lost it one day and told her I'd had enough. She needed to get away from my plot, stop planting things, stop criticizing, and leave me alone. Martyr play came in," I am old woman, I no speak English good" (yes, she does), "I am not American, I do not understand things" (she's been here 20 years), there was a little crying, then more scolding, then apology, and finally, "maybe I am just person of bad character." "Yes. Maybe you are" and it was done. She left, came back with $10 and said that I hated her because of the fence I'd given her to use and the money was not worth me being mean to her.
When Katya came to my apartment tonight, she said she'd give me the fence. I gave her $10. She said, the fence cost her $20, don't I remember? I asked if she wanted more money. "Yes, it costs $20." I gave her another $10 to be done with it.
Finally, Katya told me that swapping plots had to be a secret. I shouldn't tell the garden president because she could be "aggressive." She said I need to wait until after Passover. Maybe 10 days from now. She would come back and tell me when it would be OK to let anyone know we'd switched. I shouldn't say anything to anyone until she tells me it's OK.
I don't know what's going on with the secrecy. I really don't trust much of what Katya says, but I have my half plot if all of her plans fall apart. Until then, I'm going to make a new garden plan for the bigger plot. I might go start cleaning up Katya's plot since it's full of plant junk and can't be tilled until it's cleared. It will give me something to do.
Peaceful garden my fanny! It wouldn't be a neighborhood if there wasn't some sniping I suppose.
Basically, it said that she wants to apologize for her all the things she did last year. She said she would like to switch plots with me - I would take her full plot and she would take my half plot.
Last year, Katya took a garden plot even though her husband told her not to and said he wouldn't help her. She told me she could get him to do whatever she wants. He didn't help her. There was a bit of martyr play with her husband (a well crafted, pointy tool of hers). Her garden went to crap. As part of the martyr play, she let weeds come in and stopped watering it for a while. She was trying to embarrass him into helping. When he didn't bite, she was left to her own devices, which wasn't much since she doesn't walk well and isn't very strong.She couldn't catch up on the stuff she'd abandoned so she barely got any vegetables from it.
We're supposed to clean out our garden plots in the fall - remove fencing, pull up stakes, and clear out the soil so it can be tilled in the spring. Katya removed the fence, but not much else. There are still stakes there, weeds, and maybe planks or wood she walked on. It looks a mess.
Last year when she was setting up, she said she didn't have all of the things she needed for her plot and some of her things had been stolen. She needed fence. I told her my dad was bringing me some gear. I told her I would share what I didn't need, especially chicken wire. My dad didn't bring any chicken wire, so I bought some mesh fencing for me and gave some to Katya to use, knowing I'd get it back. It was only $20 and I was feeling flush.
I'm the only native English speaker in the garden. I am friendly with the Chinese and I am friendly with the Ukrainian, but there isn't much communication between them. Only the Chinese who learned Russian when they were in Communist schools can speak to the Ukrainians, but it's rare. I know which Chinese speak Russian, but most haven't revealed themselves to the Ukrainians. I'm sure it's a mixture of war memories, Communism, and racism.
Last year, Zhenfang, the woman I was helping to prep for her citzenship, was storming around the garden RAVING. She was yelling in Chinese at Anatoli, my plot neighbor to the north. I found out she thought he'd taken her tomato cages from the garden shed we all share. Anatoli didn't have any cages in his plot, so I tried to calm her down and show her he hadn't done anything.
Shortly after, she blew up again. She found her tomato cages in Katya's plot. When she put them away in the fall, she'd tied strings on them so she knew which were hers. There they were, in Katya's plot. It was crazy. Her ranting and body language conveyed "what do I have to do, mark everything that's mine" and "I guess I can go around taking whatever I want." She was gesturing, consensus building with the other Chinese and started throwing things. I'd never seen her or any of the Chinese folk scream like that.
I went to Katya, she said the cages were hers. With Gao yelling in Chinese behind me (Gao speaks Russian, but wouldn't speak to Katya), I showed Katya the ties that Gao had put on them to show they belonged to her. Katya had dozens of tomato cages. A little martyr play came in. She guessed she would be a good neighbor and give them to Gao, but people were always stealing from her. She wanted me to ask Gao where she got the cage - Gao got them from her daughter who lives near. Katya made a fuss that anyone could have put those ties on there, but she didn't say she'd put them on herself. She gave up the stack of cages. I went back to Gao's plot with her, she used her English words and Chinese gestures and said "Jennifer, Russians BIG. They are BIG." "Bad? Do you mean they are bad?" "Yes! Bad! They are all bad!"
Eventually, Gao believed me, that her cages in Katya's plot was a mistake. Things were HOSTILE in the garden and apartment lobby. I asked them to shake hands and be done with it and forgive.
A couple of days later, Katya wanted to talk about what happened. She told me she did take the cages. She knew they weren't hers. She thought she'd get away with it, but didn't notice the strings. I was blown away. I wouldn't help her anymore.
Since she met me, Katya has told me I need to exercise, that I'm too fat, that I should have a man or I should live with my parents. This was repeated over and over and over. My responses went from polite and gentle to firm to, well, telling her off.
Katya's plot is next to a tree and she'd sit in the shade. When I came home from the Farmer's Market on Saturdays, she'd be waiting. She criticized all the plants I bought whether the quality was bad, she didn't think I needed that particular vegetable (not enough cucumbers, that's why I'm fat), I spent too much money or I drove too far to buy them. She would put plants in my soil that she thought I should have. If I brought any tools or gear to my plot - "How much is this? How much you pay?" Then she'd demand that I take it back to the store. Persistently demand it.
All of this was scolding, dominant commands. I lost it one day and told her I'd had enough. She needed to get away from my plot, stop planting things, stop criticizing, and leave me alone. Martyr play came in," I am old woman, I no speak English good" (yes, she does), "I am not American, I do not understand things" (she's been here 20 years), there was a little crying, then more scolding, then apology, and finally, "maybe I am just person of bad character." "Yes. Maybe you are" and it was done. She left, came back with $10 and said that I hated her because of the fence I'd given her to use and the money was not worth me being mean to her.
When Katya came to my apartment tonight, she said she'd give me the fence. I gave her $10. She said, the fence cost her $20, don't I remember? I asked if she wanted more money. "Yes, it costs $20." I gave her another $10 to be done with it.
Finally, Katya told me that swapping plots had to be a secret. I shouldn't tell the garden president because she could be "aggressive." She said I need to wait until after Passover. Maybe 10 days from now. She would come back and tell me when it would be OK to let anyone know we'd switched. I shouldn't say anything to anyone until she tells me it's OK.
I don't know what's going on with the secrecy. I really don't trust much of what Katya says, but I have my half plot if all of her plans fall apart. Until then, I'm going to make a new garden plan for the bigger plot. I might go start cleaning up Katya's plot since it's full of plant junk and can't be tilled until it's cleared. It will give me something to do.
Peaceful garden my fanny! It wouldn't be a neighborhood if there wasn't some sniping I suppose.
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